isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
