I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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