actually, I'm a sock model
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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