The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
