dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
sarcasm needs its own font
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
