People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
