just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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