all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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