We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
