Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
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remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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