i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
