Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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