You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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