Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
