You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
