garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
