Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
