My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize