xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Floor bacon is actually really good
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
