Will you blow on my dice?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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