remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my shit smells like andre
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
