so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
