It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize