I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
