arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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