She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My vagina is very pro this idea
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
