Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
