Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
