How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
