I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
