my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
