so explain again why im purple
no
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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