i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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