My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
