we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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