just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
