There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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