I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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