Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
