It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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