fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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