you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize