your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
