Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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