if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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