youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
