my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
