You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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