i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
my penis made a compromise with my morals
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
