Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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