I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
