hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
