i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
