I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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