You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize