If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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