he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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