doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
