Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
