So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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