Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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