lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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