So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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