You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
