Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
