Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
