Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
