I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
