sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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