I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
