you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
