Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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