the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
